Mom's Uncertainty
May. 18th, 2010 04:38 pmI received a call from my mother early this morning. She was invited to go to a nearby city with a gentleman who had to get some water tested. He thought that they could make a day of it. She cried on the phone. My father died three years ago, but she feels that he would not want her to go anywhere with a man other than himself. She said that for the past four months, she has been feeling particularly lonely. She said that she can't live without touch and someone to love.
I told her that the only person who felt uncomfortable with the idea of her becoming close to another is herself. My sister and I would love for her to find someone that could at least make her feel less lonely. The place my father holds in her heart will not be affected by that in the slightest. He would not want her to feel so miserable. They are only friends, to my knowledge. I don't know if she is feeling guilt for the friendship or that she wants it to be more (if she does).
Perhaps some of this comes from the fact that the anniversary of my father's death three years ago is only days away. Perhaps that has created guilt within her for enjoying this man's company. I do not know. Whatever the case, life has to progress whether we like it or not. It is not healthy to remain rooted in the past. She will have to work through this by herself, but I really think that my father would wish her to be happy. Her beliefs are different from mine in many areas, but surely she agrees with me on this.
I told her that the only person who felt uncomfortable with the idea of her becoming close to another is herself. My sister and I would love for her to find someone that could at least make her feel less lonely. The place my father holds in her heart will not be affected by that in the slightest. He would not want her to feel so miserable. They are only friends, to my knowledge. I don't know if she is feeling guilt for the friendship or that she wants it to be more (if she does).
Perhaps some of this comes from the fact that the anniversary of my father's death three years ago is only days away. Perhaps that has created guilt within her for enjoying this man's company. I do not know. Whatever the case, life has to progress whether we like it or not. It is not healthy to remain rooted in the past. She will have to work through this by herself, but I really think that my father would wish her to be happy. Her beliefs are different from mine in many areas, but surely she agrees with me on this.